When I visualize organized crime, I think of shady characters in silk suits and fedora hats. Late-night meetings, smoke-filled rooms, skimming money from casinos and buying off politicians. Bad guys who live outside the law and play hard.

Reminds me of when W.C. Fields said, “I spent most of my money on gambling, alcohol and fast women.”

“The rest I wasted.”

I think of schemes for moving cocaine, cash and gold. But, one thing I don’t think of is chickens. No, not bad guys who are afraid – – I mean feathered birds that lay eggs. Those kind of chickens.

So, my crime noir fantasies took a hit when the latest federal grand jury indictments named the CEOs of 10 of the biggest U.S. poultry brands – including Tyson and Purdue – for chicken carcass price fixing. There’s nothing noir about chicken carcasses, but if you can conspire to raise the price of each chicken eaten in America and pocket the difference – – that’s where the really big crime dollars are.

The Food Lawyers® take: After 30 years in food law, I can promise you that food price fixing is nothing new. In 2007, Nestle, Hershey, Mars and Cadbury all settled class actions in Canada for conspiring to raise the price of chocolate. In 2013, Nestlé, Kraft and nine other chocolatiers were fined $82 million for price fixing in Germany.

Earlier this year, Bumble Bee was fined $25 million and StarKist was fined $100 million for canned tuna price fixing. Right now, StarKist’s president is serving a 40-month stretch in federal prison – – going from filling tuna cans to making license plates.

And it isn’t just price fixing. Food fraud is a fact of everyday life. Rapeseed oil passed off as Extra Virgin Italian olive oil for a 1547% markup. Escolar “garbage fish” passed off as $40/lb sushi tuna. Phony 25-year-old balsamic vinegar – 3000% markup. Fake parmesan cheese. Counterfeit beef. Underfilled cans of tuna.

Worst part is that these are just the ones we know about.

The solution? It’s the same answer as for banks and bank robbers: all we can do is keep chasing them. We try to push them in one direction and they scatter and go somewhere else. We catch some of them and the rest run off and we chase them some more.

Like trying to herd chickens.

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