I’ve been to P.F. Chang’s a few times and always thought they do a pretty good job. Food’s good, people nice, prices fair. Waiter laughs at my “very clever” jokes and I leave a bigger tip. All seemed on the up-and-up. BUT I WAS WRONG. P.F. Chang’s has been ripping me off all along. And it wasn’t because the waiter doesn’t really think my jokes are clever.
Truth is, we’re all being cheated and it’s been under our collective nose, right on the menu, the entire time. But no more. Enter our hero, Mr. Chansue Kang. Chansue ordered “krab mix” sushi believing it was real crab. Only later did he realize “krab mix” doesn’t actually contain crab. Chansue was out $12.00 and felt abused. Did he ask for his money back? Did Chansue complain to P.F. Chang’s management? Hell no. He did what any other red-blooded Californian would do. HE FILED A CLASS ACTION IN FEDERAL COURT. Somebody needs to take a stand for all of us against “the man,” and Chansue decided to volunteer.
We all owe Chansue a debt of gratitude – – protecting us from kounterfeit krab, but I think his work is just beginning. In-N-Out Burgers serves French fries without any disclaimers. What about Swiss cheese from Fresno? And when Chansue learns that almond milk doesn’t come from cows, we’ll have even more litigation. Yes siree, old Chansue’s going to be really busy.
But Chansue’s justice train almost got derailed right at the station when Federal Trial Judge Percy Anderson threw his case out of court because it “wasn’t plausible” (judicial speak for “ridiculous”). Now, Chansue, being the freedom fighter that he is, wasn’t going to take rejection by the “P.F. Chang’s – Federal Court conspiracy” lying down. No sir. He filed an appeal. And a three-judge panel on the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled 2 to 1 that “reasonable people” would believe “krab mix” is real crab and reinstated his case. So now, Chansue’s battle against P.F. Chang’s Krab Konspiracy continues. And we’re all the better for it.
The Food Lawyers® take:
Welcome to my world. The world of Judicial Roulette. Switch Judge Anderson who dismissed Chansue’s case with one of the 2 judges who ruled for Chansue on appeal and Chansue loses 2 to 1. But, the judicial roulette wheel came up in Chansue’s favor, two judges outraged by “krab mix” voted for him, and now Chansue’s empowered to keep on protecting you and me.
Think I’m kidding about “judicial roulette?” Well, I can tell you there was a time in Los Angeles Superior Court when all pre-trial motions were heard by two judges. All the cases ending in even numbers went to one judge and the odd number cases went to the other. I did a deep dive into both judges’ backgrounds and learned that the “odd number judge” would 100% dismiss a case I was preparing to file if it got in front of him and the “even number judge” would let it proceed. My strategy became to file the case and if the judicial roulette wheel gave me the odd number judge, I’d immediately dismiss the case, wait a couple of weeks, and try again. Actually, judicial roulette gave me the “right” judge on the first spin and when the other side moved to dismiss the case the judge agreed with my brilliant legal work and ruled in my favor. And the other side couldn’t figure out why.
The lesson: If you go to court seeking justice, know that you’re playing judicial roulette, just like Chansue. You place your bet, the wheel spins, and if the little ball is mean and you’re wiped out, it’s like they say in Vegas: “It happens to the best and it happens to the rest.”